Praying for What?!

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I started this journal on paper, so this is actually what I was going through and wrote 4 days ago…

It’s amazing what pregnancy does to you. I haven’t felt ill for 3 days and I’m in a panic. I’m at the very beginning of week 9 of this and I’m scared I’ve miscarried. Why don’t my boobs still hurt? Why did my nausea suddenly and completely fade? Am I the luckiest pregnant woman on earth? Or did the little parasite decide I was a bad host?

These are the crazy thoughts knocking around in my head right now. This is how you get to be standing in your kitchen early in the morning, alone, jumping up and down just to see if your boobs still hurt… and panicking because they don’t. This is how you get to be on your knees in your closet praying for the return of breast soreness and nausea. Let me repeat that… I’m actually PRAYING FOR THE RETURN OF BREAST SORENESS AND NAUSEA!

I am crazy… and it’s all the little parasite’s doing (or the little grape as my husband call it). Can’t wait to see how crazy I ultimately become.